Monday, January 19, 2009

I'll Try, But Only for You...

I am having a hard time finding things to blog about. I am becoming more and more negative as the days go on. I'm a gigantic fat pregnant lady that no one wants to be around. I might be stinky, too. I'm not sure. No one has commented on it, and I can't smell myself so it must not be too bad. I'm pretty sure that there are people out there who read this blog, how ever, no one leaves comments so I might just be blogging to myself. Wouldn't be anything new, I talk to myself all the time. Jacob will say, "What? What, Mommy?" and I'll have to tell him never mind because I wasn't talking to him. Anyway, the point is that I try not to be too negative on my blog because I want people to enjoy reading and possibly come back. Most of the time, like the times when I'm not a gigantic pregnant lady, I can think of thousands of things to blog about. Like the giant squirrel I saw in the Burger King drive-thru today while picking up lunch. Or the fact that Jacob got a new 'big' bed yesterday and loves it more than anything. But, my brain keeps getting fogged out. Then all I can think is that if Emrick decided to be born, I could go in to labor any day and the doctors would most likely just let it happen because I am far enough along now to have a baby. Her lungs should be perfectly healthy and ready to breath real air like the rest of us. I keep thinking about the car seat that I still need to wash and the hospital bag that I still need to pack and the bassinet that I still need to retrieve from my parent's attic. The list goes on and on. I keep wondering what this Emrick girl child will look like and how Jacob will react to me being gone from him for a few days. And that makes me cry because I have never been gone from him for more than hours at a time and can hardly stand the thought of sleeping without him under the same roof as me. Even though I know he will be perfectly safe and most likely happy as a clam with Grandma and Grandpa Hild. I worry that he won't be the same boy when I come home with a baby in my arms. So, while I will try to continue posting regular normal-people posts on my blog, they may be fewer and further in between. Because, in my case, being eight months pregnant also means that one thought immediately leads to another that is most likely unrelated. Then I can't get back on track for long enough to form a full paragraph that actually makes sense. So, I will try my hardest to make sense in my blog. But, only for you, my faithful blog followers.


julieann said...

I read your blog daily, even though I know you work a few feet from me and I could just go up and chat with you!! I will start to comment more, because I want you to know that your posts always make me smile:)
Miss Julie

Shannon said...

Mandi, If I could hug you through the computer I would. I look forward to reading your blogs. It is a good way for me to see how things are going with at least part of my family. I personally can't wait for my new little niece. I can't wait to see if she has tons of hair or none. I can't wait to see if she looks a lot like Jake did or if she will look totally different. It is so exciting just knowing this new little baby will be in my family soon!