Thursday, April 16, 2009
I am an avid blog-reader. I read lots of mommy blogs written by lots of different kinds of moms, and they all inspire and entertain me. Today, Rebecca at girlsgonechild.net was writing about dreams and what average moms (or anyone, really) is doing to make their own dreams come true. And after I sat and thought a minute, a slumped down a bit in my chair. What dreams? I suppose if I had any dreams I would working toward making them come true. But first I have to figure out what I have in the way of dreams. I keep coming up blank. I don't want to be anything when I grow up. I'm not much of a writer or actress or public speaker. I like kids, and I once thought I wanted to work with those with special needs. I even went to school for it. But then I realized that you have to have patience and lots and lots of empathy but mine all ran out the second I became pregnant with Emrick and has yet to return. I'm not sure it's going to. I have dreams for my family. That one day we will own a little house right outside of town with a barn and chickens. That my kids will grow into happy, well adjust adults. That Burger and I will grown old together and be in love forever and that he will be the happiest man alive. But these are not personal dreams. I have no dreams for myself. To make myself smarter and happier and a better person. Hopefully one morning I will just wake up and think to myself, "Oh my God. That's it. That's what I need to do to achieve my dreams. That's what would make my life worthwhile." But for now, I have no clue. I'm just trying to keep my sanity and not beat my kids for smearing poop all over my hallway. I guess for now I dream for other people, but that can't last forever. Can it?