No Title Could Possibley get you Ready for This One...

The day started out fine. We went to work, Jacob played nice with the other children. We stopped at the grocery store on the way home to get some milk and various other items. When we got home Jacob was playing in the yard while I got the groceries out of the car. Max was locked in the hallway with the baby gate, as usual. He gets in the garbage if we don't lock him away. So I went to release him and let him outside when I distinctly caught the whiff of poo. All over the hallway and somehow he had gotten into my bedroom. I stood at my door, wondering if I even wanted to go in there and check the damage. I figured I had to since Burger wouldn't be home for at least 6 more hours. All over my bed and my pillow. Dog poo. Not 'I'm sick and I couldn't hold it' kind of dog poo but the kind that says 'I'm mad at you and you totally deserved this' dog poo. I start cleaning up the hallway so no one will step in it when I hear Jacob start to whine outside. I dash out there and find my child covered in dog poo. Apparently he tripped or something and landed in a pile that was in the yard. In his hair, his shirt, his pants, his shoes... everywhere. I bring him in, instructing not to touch anything and stick him in the tub. Scrubbed the kid down and threw some new clothes on him, sat him in front of the TV. Go back to cleaning up the first mess. Needless to say, the dog is still outside. He is not coming in. Maybe never again... That's my day so far. There are still 3 hours and 45 minutes before Burger will be home and who's to say what will happen between then and now.